Dear Monster High Girl,
This is the story of the day you were born.
It was 5:15am, January, Friday the 13th and I suddenly awoke. Utterly embarrassed, I woke my Husband telling him I was pretty sure I just wet the bed. I was 3 weeks from my due date still, and I suddenly realized I hadn’t had an accident. My water was leaking. I called our parents and my best friend at the time to inform them that we were headed to the hospital. Luckily, we had our bags packed by the door for a couple weeks and all we had to do was grab them and my pillow and go.
Once we arrived at the hospital, the staff was hesitant to check me in. Although I had been 2cm dilated for a couple of weeks by now, they had me walk around the hospital for nearly 5 hours wearing a pad, before they believed that I was, in fact, leaking amniotic fluid. They were having such a hard time believing me, because I had not gone into labor yet and my water hadn’t completely broke.
Around 11am, they finally got us settled into our own room. They checked to see how dilated I was and I was still at 2cm. The nurses hooked me up to the external fetal monitor, and although they tried, they couldn’t put in a bigger I.V. should the event arise that I might hemorrhage and need a blood transfusion. They still started a small one, should I need drugs though.
A few hours passed and I still wasn’t having contractions. (They had checked me 2 more times to see if I had dilated more, and I hadn’t.) Around 2pm, they started me on Pitocin to induce labor. Two hours later, I still wasn’t having contractions, so they upped my dose to as high as they could safely (and legally, I’m sure) go. At 4pm, almost instantly, the contractions hit me like a brick wall. In just an hour, I was already at 4cm dilated.
Right that second, I started screaming for an epidural! I hadn’t been prepared for what hit me, and lord knows that Pitocin makes contractions come hard and fast (which is completely unnatural) and it’s pretty hard to combat that without meds. The Anesthesiologist took forever (just an hour) to finally get out of surgery and come to start it. By the time he arrived, I was already at 6cm and wanting to die. He explained all the risks of starting it and put it in.
Relief. Complete and utterly instant relief. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. For about an hour, I felt nothing while I transitioned another centimeter in dilation. Once I hit 7cm though, the epidural no longer worked for whatever reason.
Oh dear God why?!
This was around the time that my doctor arrived (his 2nd appearance today) to tell me that he was worried about the baby being in distress. Oh Lord. I’ve learned enough to know what that leads to. Throughout my pregnancy I had been praying that I would end up getting a c-section because I thought that that would be so much easier to deal with than birthing the natural way. However, after hearing those words “Baby in distress” I suddenly was taking it all back. I just wanted her to be healthy, yes, but I was scared of surgery.
While I was panicking in my head and not really listening to a word that he was saying, I suddenly snapped to it when he said he needed to break my water, to hopefully induce labor more, and he also needed to put in an internal fetal monitor.
Oh. Ok. Well that doesn’t sound so bad.
Of course then he told me how he had to put in the internal fetal monitor. Apparently, there was to be some copper wire kinda screwed into the top of her head. That’s not terrifying sounding at all! (rolls eyes)
I agreed to it reluctantly (in hindsight I wish I hadn’t…not that anything bad came from it) and the next thing I know, there was water gushing out of me like a friggin’ lake bursting through a dam!
A short amount of time passed by. The staff frequently checked me to see if I was progressing. In no time at all, they alerted me that it was time to push.
O.M.G. Seriously? Now?
Ok. It’s time to pull up my big girl panties and do this!
For 45 minutes I pushed, all the while screaming. It really was like something out of the movies. I hadn’t wanted my Mom or Nic’s parents or anyone, really, to be there. I just wanted it to be the two of us so that I wouldn’t have any distractions and I could really focus on the task at hand. I also wanted that time following her birth to be special, uninterrupted and a few hours for us to bond with her before all the excitement of visitors.
Two of my Husband’s closest friends didn’t listen to our wishes though. They sat outside in the waiting room the entire day. Once they heard me screaming down the hall, they knew it would be any minute now. I will say that they respectfully waited in the lobby until Nic invited them in, but that situation certainly didn’t sit well with our parents, but what can I do about it? It’s in the past now. (Also, in hindsight, I would never need an epidural ever again. If I could go through all of that pain, while feeling pretty much every second of it, I realized they’re overrated and pose far too many risks to be worth the gain.)
Anyways, I digress. Like I said, after 45 minutes of pushing, at 8:18pm, our beautiful daughter entered our lives…forever changing them for the better. She was a healthy and perfect 6 pounds 2 ounces and 19 inches long. There was a Full Moon outside AND it was Friday the 13th…what are the odds of that!!!
As I held this little creation of Nic and I’s, I knew that every moment of my life led right to this very moment. All of the successes, failures, pain, happiness, tears, triumphs, trials and tribulations…all of that was to bring me to the here and now and I wouldn’t change a single second of it. If I had done something different, if I had been a different person, I wouldn’t be staring into the gorgeous steel grey eyes (which are now super dark brown) of this perfect little gift from God right now. It was so worth it. As I cried tears of joy and looked up into my Husband’s watery eyes, we just took a moment of silence to appreciate what just happened.
Nic took her across the room to give her the first bath. I delivered my placenta and underwent something else a bit unpleasant. I watched from across the room and realized that I was madly in love with that little person screaming her lungs out. She was so pissed off at the doctor measuring and testing her and I loved that sound so much. I found her cries endearing (that feeling wore off a few days later though, lol) as I was adjusting to the sound of them.
After everyone was finished tending my needs and hers, I brought her to my breast and nourished her with my milk. What an AMAZING feeling! The bonding that came from that…well…there really are no words for it. I’d like to say that I stuck it out as long as I did with Cindy, but due to my stubbornness to ask for help, and my lack of perseverance, I only lasted 10 days. I will always have those 10 days though, and no one can ever take that from me.
We slept off and on throughout the night with her by my side. Though it wasn’t the most spectacular birthing experience, it was magickal in the sense that we brought forth life and she was perfectly healthy…which is what really matters!
We were released from the hospital on the Sunday 2 days later, and it was off to find our new places in the world as parents…and boy what a wonderful adventure it has been! (We were so tired. This was the day we came home.)
Your father, sister and I (and not to mention all the other people in your life that care for you immensely) love you very, very much!!! Happy 8th Birthday baby girl! I’m so blessed to have the honor and privilege of spending these 8 wonderful years with you (not to mention the 8 months with you in my belly), and I look forward to spending many, many more!!!
With all the love in our hearts,
Mommy & Ahdoo XOXO