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Friday, June 28, 2013

Happy 33rd Birthday Ahdoo!!!

For Ahdoo’s birthday, he actually had to work during the day. That allowed us the opportunity to make him a thoughtful, homemade present. He got home around 5pm, and we pounced to give it to him.
We found every single picture of him that we had in the RV and made a book out of them. It was created to the backdrop of the medieval ages and it was a lot of fun. It was about him leaving for Virginia and leaving his family behind to fight a battle (do his job). His girls missed him and could no longer be apart. He bought them a new “portable” castle (the R.V.) and valiant steed (the truck) and swooped in to rescue them. They journeyed across the land, and once they got to their new destination, they fought the battle together. The End…ish.
After he opened his present, MHG wrote a song for him and performed it. It was so very sweet. (For the record, she doesn’t actually know how to play guitar, but she does a good job improvising. I am teaching her piano however, and she’s getting quite good at that!)
After she got done performing her sweet song for him, there was a round of kisses and thank you’s…and popsicles, then a trip to Wal*Mart. We got Cindy her belated birthday present of the Flintstone car thingy that they push around with their own feet. She loves that thing.
flintstone car
We got home, started the grill and firepit, and threw his steak and our burgers (and my vegan “smart” dog) on. Everything was delicious and it was nice to get to have a real chill, peaceful birthday celebration. (He doesn’t like cake…or ice cream…so none of that hooplah.)
We all went inside and the girls rough-housed around with him for a good hour or so. Eventually, I played the bad guy, broke up the party and made everyone go to bed.
I know he wasn’t able to be with his buddies (He calls them his “Elites”) on his special day (or his family for that matter), but I think he still had a good day. We love him very much and once again, we were happy to just be able to celebrate the day with him…unlike last year.
Happy 33rd Birthday honey…I love you so very much! You are an amazing Husband and friend to me, Father to our girls, and Provider to us all. You ask for very little, yet offer so much. You know the right thing to say to me at any given moment. You truly are my soulmate in this life and in lives past...and hopefully in lives future. I will follow you to the ends of the Earth…forever.
“..Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name. Hello, I love you, let me jump in your game…”—The Doors

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Rain Dancing

I met one my nearest and dearest friends while I was rain dancing. I was 16, and had just moved across the street from her. Colorado was blessed with a rare downpour and I raced outside to enjoy every second of it. Apparently, she was watching me from across the street and thought I was nuts. After that, we were introduced to each other and our friendship grew from there. I love you Erin!

Anyways, I’m pretty sure that urge to dance in the rain runs through my girls’ veins as well. This evening, during an incredibly refreshing, Virginia rain, the girls begged us to go outside and dance in it. There was no lightning or thunder, so we obliged.

*As a quick side note, because rain in Colorado is incredibly rare, and when it does rain, it is usually very COLD rain, my oldest daughter didn’t have the opportunity to dance in it until she was 4 1/2 years old, and that’s only because we were visiting my Mom in Wisconsin. Cindy is lucky to have a 2 1/2 year head start!

Girls Rain play

Girls Rain

Avalon Rain 2

Faye Rain Avalon Rain

Girls Rain 2

I love these little dears so much! Watching them run around, squealing and giggling with delight, just melts my heart. The pure innocence in their actions, and the sheer joy in their laughter sends me completely to the moon and back. The unending and unconditional love I have for these 2 little angels, just grows more and more each day, as they slowly change and alter their identities, into what they will one day become. I love them with all my heart and soul and every single fiber of my being.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Tuesday June Twenty-Fifth Two Thousand Thirteen

bday girl no.2 cp
Cinderella spent her 2nd birthday having a lot of fun! We started the morning off enjoying our last nursing session together. The bond through nursing, that we spent creating over the past two years, will always be an incredibly special time for me. I’m glad I decided to not care about what anybody thought and just followed my intuition. She’s ready to stop now though, I know she’ll be ok with it.
Last Nursing Session
After she finished with her last milkies, MHG, Cindy and I all enjoyed a yummy, nutritious breakfast together. Once we were done eating, everyone bathed and got all dolled up for the day. I gave special attention to Cindy because I was going to do my typical birthday photo op. Pigtails were cute and easy…getting her to sit still in a chair, was not.
bday girlpretty bday girlava me 2nd bday
Since she was having so much fun being photographed inside (NOT!), I thought I’d try mixing it up and would attempt it outside in the sunlight. First up, is a pic of my daughter’s classic “Angry Ahdoo” face, it’s not her impression of him, it just bears a striking resemblance to Ahdoo’s when he isn’t thrilled. It probably is one of my favorite looks of hers…next to her “no holds bar” grin!
2nd bday angry face
Finally, she cheered up and played around with her sister and I for a bit and her bucket of outdoor toys.
2nd bday girls hugme ava 2nd bday sun2nd bday bucket
Big sister enjoyed her fun in the sun while blowing bubbles for the birthday girl. What a wonderful big sister she is too!
MHG bubbles bwMHG bubbles
After a much more pleasant photo session, we went inside, pooped and hot, to enjoy some lunch. Cindy’s favorite treat is, believe it or not, seaweed sheets. I love that she loves healthy food.
After a much needed 3 1/2 hour nap, she woke up to Ahdoo getting home! He kept the kids busy inside while I wrapped presents outside. He and MHG started a craft project. It is painting a ceramic owl. He taught her the different ways to do brushstrokes.
ahdoo mhg paint
After a quick dinner of cold cut sandwiches (it was WAY too hot and humid for a hot dinner)…
dada ava 2nd bday
We did things all out of order and opened presents first.
2nd bday wand
Without anyone’s help or guidance, she used her wand to poke a hole in every present so she could rip them open from the hole, instead of just ripping them open. I thought that was pretty creative of her.
hole poke 1
From Grandma, she received a Sprig toy. I love their toys. They’re safe and made from natural rubberwood. It’s the Fred Shred set that allows Fred to either skateboard, surf or snowboard. Very cool. Thank you Grandma!!!
fred shred
From big sister she received a “hoodie” for her baby. Since she loves hoodies so much, sister thought that she might want one for her baby as well. She was right! (It’s actually a bathrobe, but Cindy doesn’t know or care.)
baby hoodie
From Ahdoo and I, she received a wagon to pull her babies around in. It ended up being her most favorite present…such an easy to please kid. These 3 ended up being her favorites, but she also got a fishing set to play fish, a hand bag with owls on it to carry babies (which she loved til she got the wagon, lol), a couple hooks for her room and a bib for baby. It wasn’t a lot compared to last year, or big sister’s birthday pasts, but living in an RV now, we can’t bring a lot into here obviously.
baby wagon bw
After presents, we had the cake and ice cream…of course!
me 2nd bday rv
no. 2 radiance
She was funny when I came out. She looked at that cake like “Oh my gosh! Is that for me?!”
She really enjoyed blowing out the candle, ate only 3 bites of her cake, inhaled her ice cream and took off like a wild woman to start running laps around our site with baby in the wagon behind her. That was a really long run on sentence…but that’s about how quick it all happened.
cake face
cake face 2 cake face 3                    
At the end of the day, we let Tigger get in on the action. After the girls went to bed, he was restless and incessantly meowing, so we threw the new harness and leash on him and let him come outside to explore. He was totally thrilled. That cat is completely content just rolling around in the grass and sleeping on the rocks.
I apologize for this turning out to be a ridiculously long post, but I wanted to do it all in one for the ease and sake of my family and friends. We love all of you guys and wished you could have enjoyed the day with all of us. We miss you all and hope you are doing well!

Avalon's Home Waterbirth

pink bow IMG_7655_edited-1

Two years ago, I was blessed with the ability to give birth at home. It’s not for everyone, and not everyone that wants to do it, can…but I fell into the category allowing me the opportunity to do so. I hadn’t even considered home birthing until I was 7 months pregnant. A couple of my friends had done it and I thought they were amazing, strong, daring, and absolutely insane. (Love you Erin and Kelly.)

My Husband had been working out of state from February 6, 2011 to May 1, 2011. When he left in February, I was already 20 wks pregnant. I was receiving exceptional o.b. care with the same doctor I had been with throughout my 1st pregnancy in 2005-2006. Around April though, I bought the book “Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way: Revised Edition”. It was so fascinating, that I read it in 1 whole day and kept re-reading it until my honey got home from Virginia. It is all about Husband-coached labor, how the husband is your advocate to keep as much medical and medicinal intervention out of your “natural birth” as possible, and how to labor in such a relaxed state that you save energy for the pushing. The book also stated, that if you want to have a TRULY natural childbirth, then you need to stay out of the hospital. I had a moment where I dreamed that would be possible, but I quickly brushed it aside because I knew my husband would never go along with home birthing.

For the past 7 months, I had been worrying myself utterly sick about every possible thing that could go wrong with this birth. My first birthing experience was everything BUT what I had planned for. I wanted the no-drugs, “natural” birth. I had my birth plan all diligently written out, everything in perfect order. Needless to say, that did not happen. On her birthday, I will write her birth story.

He arrived home on May 1st. We took a 7 day camping trip (at 7 months pregnant, sleeping on the ground sucks, by the way), came home, I had him read the book and he took his time doing so. He didn’t think it was that urgent so he only read a chapter here and there. One night though, on May 15th, he slapped the book down on the bed and said “Fire your Doctor. Hire a Midwife. We need to have our baby right here.” I looked up at him in utter disbelief, with a smile slowly creeping across my face and said “First thing in the morning”, secretly screaming “YES!” in my head. The next day, I called my doctor’s office to cancel all my upcoming appointments. I thanked them for the fabulous care in the past and said I was deciding to have my baby at home instead. They weren’t happy, but I didn’t care. For the first time in 7 months, I felt free. I felt like the entire world was lifted off my shoulders and this was what I needed to do. It felt…right. I hired the most amazing midwife, that day, after talking to several on the phone. She just seemed…right, also.

I had my first appointment with her the next day. Just a month and a week later (3 or 4 appointments total with her) my water started leaking. Wednesday, June 22, 2011, I leaned over to grab something and a small gush of water came out. I got super excited…except it was 3 1/2 weeks still to my due date. I called the midwife, and asked if we should be concerned…maybe this is just my lot in life. My 1st born was early term, born at 37+0 & she was 6lbs 2oz. My midwife said it would be ok, that my membranes would most likely seal back over and to go about my normal business. So, just in case, I headed to Sam’s to stock up on birthing supplies. Chucks, pads, shower curtains for the bed, at a local thrift store I bought several crappy receiving blankets, and sheets and bedding. I got home, washed everything and started preparing my home for the birth. I knew she was coming. I wasn’t in labor, but my water was still gushing out in small spurts anytime I twisted, bent, coughed or anything. I was drinking insane amounts of water also, to replenish what I was losing of the amniotic fluid.

day water broke

My Mom was out of town taking care of my Grandma in Illinois, but 3 days before my water started leaking she saw 3 signs that told her Cindy was coming early. She started preparing and headed home Friday morning. My Mother-in-law came over to clean my bathtub hardcore for me. She scrubbed and scrubbed that tub with bleach until it sparkled. Then, after she rinsed it out thoroughly, she started cleaning it with a bathtub cleaner that was ammonia based. For some reason, it wasn’t enough rinsing and the toxic gas cloud that was released was slowly making itself throughout our apartment. She kept cleaning, not realizing its level of toxicity. My Husband rushed in there, yelled at MHG and I to go outside, grabbed his Mom and led her outside, opened all the windows, turned on all the fans and aired the apartment out. Later that evening, she had to go to the E.R. for chemical burns on her lungs and was bed-ridden for about a week. She’s never really been the same since when it comes to her breathing. I appreciated what she did to clean the tub, but I was absolutely terrified to lose her the day my daughter was going to be born.

I spent the next 66 hours leaking amniotic fluid and not in labor. By Friday, June 24, my midwife was starting to discuss my “options”. She was so kind and compassionate, but all I was hearing was “we would have to go to the hospital”…and at that point I knew it would be game over. We were a few days from 37 I knew she would be a guaranteed NICU baby. If my doctor heard how long I had been waiting, I would have been sent straight to the O.R. for a c-section…my biggest fear. Then my midwife said something I’ll never forget. “Drink a glass of wine tonight after you go for a walk with your husband and daughter. It’ll relax you enough that you can finally get some sleep.” I hadn’t slept since Wednesday, because I was too excited. So, I went for a brisk, hour long walk with my family, came home and drank a glass of red wine at 10pm. I fell asleep for one hour and woke up with contractions.

From 11pm to 2am, I started to relax and prepare for what was to come. The contractions were getting intense, but I could still handle them with grace and ease. I didn't hit Active Labor until around 2am. At 2 am, I couldn’t walk around anymore, it was time to kick these contractions butts and in order to do that, I needed to get to bed. At the same time I headed to bed, my Mother AND Midwife both arrived in the parking lot. My midwife came from across town, my Mother on the other hand, spent 18 hours straight driving back here from Illinois. She did amazing and got here in the knick of time. She was here to help keep Faye calm.

My midwife and I decided against checking to see how dilated I was. That’s when you introduce bacteria, and I didn’t want go there. I knew I was far, but still had some more to go. She laid down and drifted in and out of sleep on my couch. My Mom and Daughter went back to sleep in her room with the door shut, and my Husband and I laid down on my bed. He’ll tell you he never went to sleep, but at one point he was snoring, Goddess love him. That’s how quiet I labored. Everyone was sleeping in my house. I laid on my side, going through hot and cold flashes, @ 2 am I forgot to mention that I threw up 3 times, and looking back now I’m wondering if I prolonged stage 3 labor for hours just to muster up the strength to push?

Anyways, from 2 am to about 4:30 am I quietly labored away. At one point my Midwife came in to check on me because she thought my labor had stopped and I was sleeping, I broke concentration to tell her I was in fact quite occupied laboring and by doing so, I lost control and let out a yelp. She excused herself from the room, and I re-focused on my goal. The way I was able to labor silently, was to Yogi breath. Ujjayi breathing definitely paid off. I was meditating the entire time as well. I acknowledged that my uterus is a muscle, and it was doing its job marvelously. When I wouldn’t fight it, it didn’t hurt AS much, but it still hurt quite a bit. Every time a contraction started, I would visualize myself walking down a long, dark hallway and at the end of the hallway was a door. The door was closed but it had the most brilliant blue light penetrating the cracks around it. After my contraction peaked and started to subside, I would finally get my hand on the doorknob to the door. I would open the door and see myself holding my baby…(which ironically enough, looked IDENTICAL to her). At that point, the contraction would be over, I would have 30 seconds to recover, the next contraction would return, and I would do it all over again.

At 4:30, I sat up in bed, told my husband it’s time and to add the water to the bathtub. (I was determined to have a water birth.) He added the water and I waddled in excruciating pain to the bathroom. I sat down in the tub, acclimated to the water and took a big breath and pushed.


It was an intense and hard and long push and it hurt like a b****. I couldn’t push again for another 15 minutes. I was internally cursing myself for not sleeping for days straight. If I had, I would’ve been able to push her out in seconds, but alas, everything happens for a reason. I pushed, waited another 15 minutes and this time, I pushed while letting out a much needed, healthy guttural yell. I stopped, and said something along the lines of I can’t do this, I wanna stop, blah blah blah, and my midwife said I had one push left. I reached my hand down and I could feel my baby’s head. It was only about the size of a quarter though, and I told her she was crazy. She said, one more push and that baby was going to be out. I had her get my Mom and Daughter, and once they came in, I gave one more push. My poor Daughter was crying because she didn’t like to see me in such pain, and at only 5 years old, it was hard for her to understand what was happening to me. She tried to leave the room, but Grandma held her tight, and out the baby’s head popped!

I breathed a sigh of relief, my Daughter stopped crying, and waited with the rest of the room in anticipation. I was so relieved, that I forgot I still had to push the rest of her out! I gave the last push about a minute later. Out she came, slowly and gracefully, and my Husband was the first person to touch her. He gently pulled her out of the water, then placed her on my chest. She was beautiful and pink and wasn’t crying. Her eyes were wide open and taking in her surroundings. At this point everyone is smiling and relieved and my daughter crying tears of joy. Our little Avalon has finally been born.


All of sudden, she started to turn grey. My heart tried to jump out of my chest! My midwife grabbed her, accordianed her legs into her chest a couple times, she spewed out some extra amniotic fluid and THEN she let out a ridiculously strong, hearty and LOUD cry. She pinked right up, and from that point on, she had no more issues. My own breathing & heart rate returned to normal.


I stood up, holding her to me, the cord still in tact, and made my way to my room. I laid down on the bed, and after an hour I gave birth to the placenta. We placed it in a ziplock baggie at my side so she could stay attached to it for another hour. (Once it turned white, it was no longer needed.) Meanwhile, my midwife did her tests and exams on her and then Nic cut the cord.


nb color

our girls 3 of em

I held her to my chest and started to nurse her. From that first nursing session, the kid was a freaking pro.


She was born Saturday, June 25, at 5:25 am. She weighed in at 5lbs 6oz, and was 18 3/4 inches long. My Midwife had determined, after doing her assessment of her, that my OB & I had been off on my estimated conception date. Avalon had been born at 35 weeks & 4 days. That means, that I just gave birth to a perfectly healthy, premature home. I was lucky. I realized then, that THAT had been the reason why my gut was telling me all along to switch to a homebirth. There would have been so many unnecessary medical interventions for she & I, had she been born in the hospital, that Goddess only knows what would've happened. My brown haired, steel-blue eyed girl, came peacefully into this world, and my life would never be the same again.


She is an incredibly independent little girl that likes to take her time figuring out what she wants out of life, but once she makes up her mind, she attacks it with all the ferocity in the world. After all, she is a Cancer (astrological sign). I love my children and I can’t believe that 2 years has already flown by. There are so many special memories I have with my baby girl, but I’ve already written a book.

IMG_7647 - Copy_edited-1

So here’s to you little miss. You are the Moon in my dark sky, you are the first sun rays in the morning and you are the song in the wind. I love you with all my heart and I thank Goddess everyday for bringing you into my life. You and your sister are the greatest things to ever happen to me (aside from marrying your beautiful Father, of course). I love the sparkles in your eyes and the sound of our laugh. I love how you love me with unfailing loyalty. When you throw your arms around me tight, knock me backwards and sprawl your body out on me, saying “Mama, Mama, Mama” you absolutely melt my heart. I spent 2 years nursing you and nursing our bond and though you are my little barnacle baby, it was all worth it. I know that you love me with a fierceness that cannot be described, and every month that went by that I swear I just sat on my couch and either held you or nursed you, was another month proving to you how much I love you, too, and that I’ll always be there for you.

Your daddy loves you with complete reckless abandon, as well. He missed your first birthday last year, because he had just come to Virginia to support us, and he wasn’t allowed to leave. It completely crushed him. He is so grateful to be with you for your birthday this year. He had vowed that if for some reason we couldn’t join him in Virginia, he refused to miss any more of your birthdays. He loves you and your sister with all his heart. We love you baby girl. Happy 2nd Birthday!!!

2nd Bday